The AXS machine
I was at my neighbourhood AXS machine & the family (mum & 2 teenage kids) in front of me are trying to pay some bills. $500 for a Citibank Credit Card & $3000 for Credit Line bill.
They had some trouble pressing the right buttons, going to the right menu & stuff, and naturally, as the person next in line, I was pretty pissed. When the bill came up to $3500, the AXS machine prompted that it is above the normal ATM limit. So, she cancelled the $500 Credit Card bill and it got to be $3000. She tried paying it, and the machine prompted insufficient fund. At that point, I was rather irritated with her cause of her incompetence in working an AXS machine & she had wasted her time and most importantly, the time of 2 other people waiting behind her without actually achieving anything.
So I paid my bills, went back home and thought, geez, would I be in that situation in the future where I have no money, a truckload of debts & starving children at home to feed?
And I spoke to my Dad, and he told me how He & Mum scrimp and saved (yes, they are damn giam siap when I’m a kid. My parents never took me to movies, buy clothes for me once a year with a budget of $100, and I never had a chance to fly in a plane until I started working part-time. Oh, I haven’t been on the same plane with anyone in my family, yet.) when bringing us up. I think this is a very large sacrifice on their part to raise a family like that, and given me now, at this point of life, I am very unprepared to take this kind of sacrifice.
Anyway, I guess this is a wake up call to me to be prudent with money. Though I am not really living beyond my means, I think I am kinda living in line with my means, occasional stepping over the boundary. I guess there are always a possibility of rainy days ahead, and it would be wise to be prepared for it. So, I should watch what I spend, but only what I need, stop eating out so much, less alcohol & stop going on getaway & trips when opportunity present itself. And the change of car that I want has to wait, till I save up at least 15% of the purchase price before I buy.
Oh well.
Yes, I can.
My Tutor’s Reply
To be fair, I guess I better put what my tutor replied me after sending him the letter.
Dear Wee Koh,
I am absolutely delighted for two things:
1) That students discuss things I say and argue (in the classical sense, not fighting about, but debating over) them
2) More importantly, that you feel free enough to come to me and challenge something I have said
Night-time classes can be difficult to stay engaged with. This is why I often interject personal stories and controversial statements (on-topic, and off-topic). The whole idea of these statements is to engage students and start discussions, with challenging arguments and statements. Students should challenge each other, and students should also challenge me.
I will be happy to discuss this further, but since the specific statements are not “on-topic”, we should do that during the break, or at 10pm.
In the mean time, regardless of what culture we are talking about (Singaporean or otherwise), please consider the following:
TRADITIONAL ROLES / EXPECTATIONS FOR WOMEN IN A MARRIAGE
Maintain House
Bear Children
Raise Children
Acquire and Prepare Food
Maintain Clothing (wash, iron, sew/repair)
These things are more and more rare, especially in Singapore. Women now work, and do less of these other things, but that does not mean:
1) That women are using their income to replace these things
2) That men do not still (perhaps quietly) wish women would still take responsibility for these things
For most people, their grandmother cooks and cleans better than their mother, who cooks and cleans better than females under 30 today. The idea that this is “ok” because women are now bringing–in income is questionable. Do these modern women spend their income on having someone else Cook and Clean and Wash and Shop and so-on? Perhaps – but in my experience, this is not always the case. Also, let us not forget that often grandma also brought money into the family, either directly, or over a longer period of time through the efforts of the children they raised.
This all changed significantly during the world wars, where most able-bodied men went to war, and many women went to work for the first time. This change is very much “on-topic”, as it has had a huge impact on world economies and cultures.
Don’t get me wrong, I also recognize that men are undertaking their traditional responsibilities in a much different manner as well. For example, most men today outsource the maintenance of their transportation 100% to garages or busses or the MRT (my father used to maintain his car himsleff, and my grandfather used to maintain his horse himself). Still, where men are concerned, the likelihood that they are directly paying from their own income for someone else to do these things is comparably high in my mind. The interesting question to me is, “Have women taken advantage of their recently-gained power and freedom to offload a significant portion of their traditional responsibilities on men and parents?” And also, “is this trend more apparent in Singapore than it is in a place like the Philippines, Thailand or Malaysia?”
One of the first things I was told when I arrived in Singapore (told by a Singaporean) is this, “Singapore children learn to speak a few words in Tagalog from their maids before they learn to speak them in their own dialect from their parents”. It as a most interesting thing to hear.
I am not placing any value judgement on these things. I am merely trying to take this discussion into a specific direction.
Cheers,
E-mail Sent.
Dear Ron,
After your lesson, I was thinking about some of the things you said about us Singaporean & I would like to say, I disagree with some points you had raised.
1. Singaporean don’t think mature because of our lack of language ability. We can’t speak English well, we can’t speak mandarin well, and thus, with our 5th grader English & Mandarin thinking in our head, we think like 5th graders.
I do not deny that there are some Singaporeans who is as you had described above, but I would like to point out that not all Singaporeans are like that. You are one of few of the elite people from overseas who had decided to come here and work, and naturally, the people you mix around with are the people who are like yourself, intelligent, educated, smart & can speak, write & think much more like a 5th grader. However, for the people who are left behind in your country who do not have the privilege of mobility to move around, would they also be like the “typical” Singaporean that you had describe above?
2. Singaporean Women are so undesirable that our government have to pay Singapore man using both the man & woman’s own money to force them to get married or else they have no HDB to stay. And we do not procreate enough because both SG man & woman are so undesirable to each other that we just don’t do it.
I again do not deny that it might be the case for a small percentage of people here, but again, no. You must understand that here, we do still hold our conservative values and we do not have so many children who do not know who their fathers are, or a women with children who are from more then 2 fathers. In most urbanized Cities (New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong, London etc) where many relatively well-educated people congregate, marriage not a trend. And I believe the reason for that is definitely not due to the people being undesirable to each other.
In order to have a roof over our head, it might encourage and push some people who are in a long term relationship to consider marriage more, and I do not think that there is anything wrong with that. I am also happy to say that though many of us as we grow older might not be as desirable to each other, many of us are willing to go through the thick and thin in a relationship (for their children or whatever). This sense of responsibility is a virtue we are proud to have.
I hope I have not quoted you out of context, and if I do, I sincerely apologized. It was great fun to be at your lesson too, and I’ve certainly learned more in addition to what was taught in Malik’s lectures.
Please do ignore this whole e-mail if it causes any bad feelings for yourself as it is not intended to, and if it does, hey, it’s just a ranting of a maturing 5th grader’s mind.
Thanks!
Cheers,
Wee Koh
FT & SG
Today, in the tutorial class (I was actually surfing sgcarmart & mycarforum haha) the tutorial leader, an FT slammed us, the SG people. Though I wasn’t really listening (even if I do, I didn’t have the energy to fight), I am rather unhappy about it. His gripe:
- Singaporean don’t think mature because of our lack of language ability. We can’t speak English well, we can’t speak mandarin well, and thus, with our 5th grader English & Mandarin thinking in our head, we think like 5th graders.
I disagree. Yes, for the majority of us, we do not have great language ability, we have limited vocab for both English & Chinese, but that does not mean we cannot think! I think in pictures some times, and I think through how things work and going to work out without even putting words into it. Yes, maybe language might be important to express how you think, but it doesn’t mean we think to the maximum ability of our language!
In America, I believe there are smart people and stupid people, and it is the same in every country. Just because you hang out with your American friends who are educated & smart enough to come over as expatriate doesn’t mean the stupid ones left behind are clever. It is just that in Singapore, you see the whole picture, good & bad for the locals, and for the expatriate, you only see people like yourselves, ppl who think, earn, and do like you. Of course you don’t see 5th grader language with 5th grader thinking ability around!
- Singaporean Women are so undesirable that our government have to pay Singapore man using both the man & woman’s own money to force them to get married or else they have no HDB to stay. And we do not procreate enough because both SG man & woman are so undesirable to each other that we just don’t do it.
Well, maybe part of it is true, but no, not all of it. I understand that in your place, Michigan, people are procreating too often with different people where people don’t even know who their real daddy is, but here, we do hold our traditional Asian values tight. There might be people who marry to get a roof over their head, but I believe true love does exist here. SG man & woman do not have enough children to replace themselves because it is a lifestyle choice! Isn’t it the same in ALL URBAN POPULATIONS? New York? Tokyo? Hong Kong? Where do you find a BIG happy family amongst city dwellers? At least we are forced to get married to get a roof over our head. People from other urban populations do not get married, go through the act of procreation a lot, and still feel a big fat emptiness inside themselves. How’s that?
Well, I want to make it 3, but this is the only 2 that I can remember. Oh well. And I can’t believe some of our red-blooded Singaporeans in class actually agree with him.
I think I should just take this blog post, edit it a little and send it back to him. Grrr.
The Lost Symbol
I’ve saw this book on sale at MPH yesterday after gym and decided to spend $36 to get this brand new hot off the press hardcopy book by Dan Brown.
I’ve finished it in a course of 1 day, and I find the story rather intriguing.
If anyone wants to read this, I must say to me, it is more controversial then all his previous book. After finishing it, I was thinking was it an evangelical tools for Diesm, New Age theories & certain Mormon theology.
My favorite quote from this book would be the following:
Laus Deo
Go google the meaning. 
I’ve recently read A Thousand Splendid Suns & watched the movie, The Kite Runner, and is somehow touched by the plight of normal Afgani.
I wonder how people accept things as they are without testing whether that’s the truth. I guess when Ideology take over, there will be a brain drain in whatever place there is.
Oh well, Thank God for me being a Singaporean!
Outlier
I just finished this book within 3 days of buying it.Oh well, I think it is kind of good, in the sense that it analyzes successful people and the most common denominator that separate them out from their peers is Opportunities to Practice more.
So, in short, the only thing that we can do to let our children have comparative advantage over others is to let them be born in January, so that they would have a certain months head-start over all their peers. Otherwise, force them to practice more, more and more.
And this book kinda support our Singaporean education system, for all of us to spend more time in school and doing homeworks.
